a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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