you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
