Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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