At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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