I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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