Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We left the knife in your bed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize