i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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