I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
