I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize