I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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