If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
