whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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