there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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