Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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