Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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