his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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