I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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