he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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