fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do vagina's smell?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
