3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
