Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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