Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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