the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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