Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
do herpes really smell.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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