in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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