yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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