there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
