I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
