Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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