im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I understand Curling. That high.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize