Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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