marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
