hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
