return my video game
how can u be prego again
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize