i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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