yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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