After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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