I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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