why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
