we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize