He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize