I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
