he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm always down for nudity.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize