i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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