I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
