Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
