oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
