this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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