Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
