Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
