Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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