No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
