I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize