Dual....:-)
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
