just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
