anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
