Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
