he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
