Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize